Have you ever heard of that concept? Its essentially a Buddhist concept, relating to how relationships come about, why it stays strong, and why some lovers have to be apart…..I am not a Buddhist, but I prescribe to this idea namely because it explains a lot that has happened to me.
What does it mean? Regardless of the actual definition, the way I understand it, ‘yuan’ refers to the effort you put in to achieve something. To be rich, you work hard at your work or business. To be happy, you seek what gives you happiness and you put effort in securing it. To have a big family, well….you just work at it….whether its pleasure or pain, that’s very much dependent on the experience. Usually, its pleasure for the husband, pain for the wife, haha….
‘Fen’….loosely translates as fate. If it is fated that you are to be poor, then no matter how hard you work, you will always find yourself at the loosing end of material wealth. You’re fated to be used by others around you, then that is exactly what will happen….You’re fated to fall in love with a person who doesn’t even know you exist….hence, ’fen’. Some people may put so much effort in loving each other, understanding, loving….so much ‘yuan’ into the relationship.. but the relationship will not survive the test of time. Sometimes the ‘fen’ is absent. Sometimes……it is fated that their ‘fen’ only lasts that long. And some don’t even put an effort, but fall in love with each other… because the ‘fen’ is there. But when they ignore the ‘yuan’…the relationship will still fall to pieces.
Put them together, and you have a slightly different idea. ‘Yuan fen’ usually refers to the fate of a pair of lovers….how they will only meet if they had gone through a lot in past lives…how their karma throws them together, no matter how far apart their worlds are, no matter how impossible it might seem…..when Cupid’s arrow strikes, the lovers will find themselves enraptured by the other….
Right now, I am in love with a person so wonderful, so beautiful, so human…that I just cannot tell myself to look away. Regardless of her weaknesses, her insecurities, her varying moods….I find myself loving her still, and even more. For I am truly, deeply in love with her.. how long will the ‘fen’ last? Well, I don’t know for certain….but I certainly will know whether if it will go further then 5th October 2009.
I am one of those lovers. You want to know more? Watch this space….
